Sow Your Seed

Ever gleaned a spiritual nugget that caused your mouth to drop open and then think, “Wow Lord, you just showed me that?!”  Our Genesis Bible Fellowship Youth and Young Adults (Gen. B.FY) have some spiritual nuggets to share based on the living Word and their lived experiences. Saints, be encouraged and please encourage our Gen. B.FY.

There is a young black composer at Berklee who has seen phenomenal success. She’s been writing for video games, movies, and other forms of media. Her own music has been played in the United States and even in the UK. Just this month, she was commissioned to write for multiple ensembles, making her $10,000. $10,000 in one month! That composer is not me, and I couldn’t understand why not.

Attending a Conservatory (Boston Conservatory) that is attached to a Contemporary Music School (Berklee School of Music) comes with all kinds of peer pressure, imposter syndrome, anxieties, and depressions. The best of the best are concentrated in these two places and it’s easy to lose sight of your own work and accomplishments and wonder, “Why can’t I do what they do?”

Oftentimes I found myself wondering why I wasn’t seeing the same success as my peers. I knew they worked hard, was I just not working enough? Nevertheless I needed to focus on my grades, I had no time to promote myself like a business. On the other hand they were thinking of the long run, shouldn’t I be thinking of that as well? Should I work so much on my music that I don’t sleep, don’t eat, and barely go to class? Or should I wait it out like everyone else and just try to graduate? Furthermore, why are my professors, the ones who are experts in this industry, not telling me how any of what I’m doing is applicable to the world outside of college?

All of these questions made me start to doubt my mission. “What am I doing here in the first place? I bet they only accepted me because they needed at least one black student in the Composition Department, didn’t they?” Sometimes it was hard for me to even be happy for my peers, especially my black sisters in the same major as me who were what I considered to be more successful than me. I didn’t want it to be like this, but the schools make it a competition for everyone.

Many young people in music came to college with a brand and a vision already set in place to become the next best artist, and for that I applaud them. I learned something valuable from watching them (besides copying their marketing tools). Just because God is working in other people’s lives doesn't mean He isn’t working in mine. If I trusted Him to make a way for me to attend this school, why wouldn’t I trust Him for what comes after? Sometimes I become discouraged and wonder, “Why even continue trying if I’m not getting the same results as other people?” That’s why He laid upon my heart this scripture: “Sow your seed in the morning, and in the evening, do not withhold your hand. For you do not know which will prosper, either this or that. Or whether both alike shall be good." Ecclesiastes 11:6  Who am I to say some opportunity is a lost cause? Who am I to say that my work isn’t going anywhere? Who am I to judge whether or not my efforts are in vain?

Prayer: Dear Jesus, thank You for all the doors You have opened for me and the ones You continue to open. Please guide my steps and all of my work, so that the glory comes back to You. As long as I continue to sow, in Your name, please show me what You have grown for me in Your immaculate timing. In Jesus's name I pray, Amen.
By Sis. Chloe Smith